Despite last night's horrible shit, I am ok.
I decided that I am not going to compromise my vision of what I want in a guy.
If Mike doesn't agree with it, then too bad.
I shouldn't have to settle for less then the best and I only deserve the best.
I just want to get somethings straight:
1. I like to cuddle. Cuddling is more importent to me then sex. If you aren't a cuddler then don't waste my time. I can't live without it and I don't intend to try either.
2. I am a very clingy girl as stated before. While I don't mind if you go off and do your thing I do expect that when you come back you ACT like you like me. This goes back to cuddling/putting your arm around me for longer then a second/little kisses here and there etc. I won't live without any of this either. If you ask me to, forget it.
I also have made some acute discoveries as well.
I realized last night how importent it is for me to have a talkative guy that actually knows how to handle a conversation.
I'm very quiet around guys I like meaning that I most likely won't talk.
This means that I need a guy that can start conversations and doesn't feel akward doing it.
In other words, don't be retarded.
Be a man.
I need a guy that doesn't always tell me how fucked up I am or how retarded I am. You may be joking but if you say it enough times I tend to believe that you actually mean it. Face it. Words hurt.
I need someone I can feel comfortable around basically. I didn't feel comfortable last night and I wasen't put in the position to either.
This goes into the problem I have in Theatre class.
I basically don't feel comfortable and it drives me CRAZY not to feel comfortable.
Possibly the reason why I was somewhat crazy last night.
In Theatre there's basically a group that consists of:
One girl ( I forget her name )
One boy ( you know the deal )
I basically feel that no matter what I do I'm being judged.
Like if I act like myself, people just ignore me like I'm not even there.
If I'm too quiet, no one includes me.
If I'm loud, everybody ends up hating me.
I really don't know what to do about this whole thing.
It's really odd situation to be put into.
I can't withdrawl and I do love Theatre.
Then again I hate being around people that hate me.
I'm just confused about the whole bit.
I flipped out at Steve because I felt like he was being mean to me.
I've felt like he's been mean to me for a while now.
I don't understand because the Steve I knew was a nice guy that like movies and we could talk about movies and music for hours.
I don't even feel like I really know him now.
I want to feel like I know him so I can be more comfortable around him.
Same with Chris Weber.
I try to get along with them but I don't confront people when I have a problem.
I keep it to myself.
I recently discovered keeping problems to yourself isn't good.
I feel so stressed it isn't even funny.
I'm going to talk to Chris about this tommorow.
There was to be a way to resolve this entire ordeal.
Today I skipped English and went through old clothing.
I went to History and took a quiz.
He let us leave.
I went home and ate food.
I talked to Kathleen because she's home from the hospital.
I feel soo bad because she had to go through all this crap.
I'm happy she's home though
I mished her.
Right now I'm in work doing my thing until 6.
Then I go home and get ready for dance which I really don't feel like going to at all but I'm going to go.
Tommorow is Math/Theatre.
I have to see my dad.
Then horseback riding.
SKANK IT UP
Sorry I'm just a tad bit excited.
Ruder Then You is playing <3333
and NO REGRETS most importently.
I have to pick up their new cd.
and their last cd LULLLLLL.
I lost it in Canada, those lucky bastards.
They get No Regrets
but soon I shall have NR
* droools *
IN THEIR FACE
I have to finish my Skalloween costummeeee
All I have to do is get a while shirt and put " CRAZY " on it
and I need to make the drama faces on some posterboard.
I'mma color the mask, paint a pencil white, and attach the pencil to the mask so it can be like a mask
MASK-A-RAID LYKE WHOA
WHAT A GOOD JOKE
Actually it's a horrible joke but let's pretend it's a good joke for 5 seconds
As we can tell I am really looking forward to Skalloween.
All my frizends are going to be there so I won't be entirely alone like last night.
It is going to ROCK MY SOCKS
Maybe they'll be some cute guys there LULLLL <33
I'm always on the prowl.!!
I'm a TIGER
I am way to happy..
I swear I is 2-POLER TUTU THE MAX.
That was scarrry.
I must calm down.
This weekend I'm going to do the rest of my photography projects as well. so I can get them out of the way.
and I'm going to go into the darkroom and DEVELOP YOUR MOM
* SHOCK *
Sunday is Halloween too.
OMFG I ALMOST FORGOT MY FAV. HOLIDAY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!
I may get together with friends and go trick the treat a little.
That will be funnerific.
NOW TELL ME HOW HOT THIS GENTLEMEN IS:
He said I was a cutie to the max.
He's fucking hot as hell.
I'd tap that
Life just keeps on getting better and better.
♥ ♥ ♥